Day 1: I'm here and I'm doing okay
Pictures from the first day
Initial Thoughts - Feeling Blessed but Still a Little Stressed
I’m now in Hong Kong.
I thought I had planned well, turns out I hadn’t done as good a job as I thought, but that’s okay.
First impressions: Looks so cool, the high-rises, the narrow feel, the culture (food, language, people) is different, but not alien. And I’m smiling a lot, I am happy to be here experiencing this.
Okay, I was feeling a little overwhelmed at the airport as my plans started falling apart. Now, still making sure not to dwell on what I don’t know and instead (when I end up worrying about the unknowns and potential things that could go wrong or things I need to remember) to think briefly about what I can do about them and roughly when. For example, yesterday night I was thinking about the eSIM that didn’t work, about the Octopus card that’s not setup. Both things that didn’t go as planned earlier during the day. Instead of dwelling on that, I thought about what I could do and when. Therefore tomorrow (Saturday) I will try to get my eSIM working, and get a really clear plan and understanding regarding the Octopus card. There’s a difficult line to walk about not stressing about things I can’t do anything about just now, and not just ignoring things that take effort.
One more thought. In the unofficial exchange group chat, some people were already talking about being here, walking around, seeing things, and meeting up for drinks. Being social, independent and seemingly well-adjusted. It made me self-conscious, and I started comparing myself to them in a pretty unhelpful and inaccurate way. I thought they were clearly more mature, confident, self-sufficient and better adjusted than me because they were already out exploring, while I was staying at someone else’s place. Someone else mentioned they had rented an Airbnb, which reinforced that idea of them being more independent, especially compared to my experience of meeting Maureen (an absolutely lovely older lady whose grasp of the English language significantly beats my grasp of Cantonese, but still leaves a language barrier standing) at the flat, where things weren’t initially as simple as I expected and probably made me feel like I’d failed slightly.
I started thinking, I can’t get my eSIM working and I don’t want to use the public transport system yet because I don’t understand it and am therefore somewhat afraid of it, and this is a personal failing. In my head, someone who avoids public transport is not a leader or impressive. But I think a more balanced way to look at it is that I had only just arrived. I didn’t know how everything would work out, and I had planned this myself without someone there to guide me step by step. I asked people questions and got useful general information, and I think I had a healthy approach to the planning. I didn’t let myself get too stressed or overwhelmed. I dealt with what I could, and left other things for later with a mental note to sort them out when I had more information. I also have to acknowledge that I’m different. I don’t think I particularly enjoy just going out for drinks, but I am still stepping out and doing things in my own way. I was being needlessly harsh on myself. In the end, comparing myself to them was pointless; two separate situations can only be compared so far before the differences become too big.
Final thoughts
Hong Kong is pretty cool. And I don’t think I fully understand what I’ve done by coming here. Like the significance is probably lost on me. I wonder why I don’t feel like I’m freaking out, or that it is the best thing to happen to me? Is my response a measured/healthy one? Or should I be more excited? I think that I am acting as myself and that is okay. I think I want to be more excited and amazed by stuff, but I think that will come naturally. For example last night, I kept being amazed that when I looked up, I just saw buildings, like I didn’t see the sky or clouds, just tall buildings (and was slightly blinded by the street lights).